What Else can I say

Lost & Insecure

2007-06-08T08:48:00.000-04:00

If you become insecure or jealous is that a personal demon that is within a person or could it be caused by a external reason that, you can't control and how the hell do you get rid of it.

Insecurity can come in many different forms. From being insecure about physical appearance to feeling unconfident about emotional issues. Insecurities can destroy a relationship and the smallest situation can spark a series of unwanted mishaps. I guess that's the demon that people have been dealing with over the past couple of decades and it's hard for anyone to shake.

It may well be that insecurity is the root of it. But maybe we are afraid to look, afraid to face up to what lies behind it. We know of the "presenting problem" on the surface; but what is the root problem, what's at the bottom of it all? Maybe we don't know; maybe we do, but it's too frightening to look at it, or to talk about it with someone else. After all, we wouldn't want anyone else to know about where we hurt, do we?

Just wanted you to know

2007-03-26T18:16:00.000-04:00

It's been along time, but don't think that i forgot about my blogger family...Just wanted everyone to know that I am doing okay. Well as well as can be....this Wed. I am having surgery on my achilles tendon to repair a rupture that occured a week and a half ago. this is my first time having surgery and i am a little worried b/c i am at risk due to my high blood pressure...so i just ask that you all keep me in your prayers...to all of my friends whom i have not spoken with this blog is for you....

LOVE YA
One morning you will never wake up. Do all your friends know you love
them? I was thinking...I could die today, tomorrow or next week, and I
wondered if I had any wounds needing to be healed, friendships that needed
rekindling or three words needing to be said. Let every one of your friends
know you love them. Even if you think they don't love you back,you would be
amazed at what those three little words and a smile can do. And just in
case GOD calls me home before I see you again....... I LOVE YA!!! Send this
to at least 8 people you love and send it back to the person Who sent it to
you..Live today to the fullest because tomorrow is not promised!

>" I Have NO Other Choice But To Trust Him!"

Happy New Year

2007-01-03T17:13:00.000-05:00

YOU MUST NOT KNOW 'BOUT ME

i will expand on that....just wnated to give you something to think about

Happy Holiday

2006-12-26T12:50:00.000-05:00

Christmas was very good to me. I hope that everyone got everything that they asked for. I myself never ask for a lot and the things i ask for i ask for consistantly so you don't have to guess what it is that i want.
If you know me, it's easy Polo, Polo, money, flat screen, polo, video game (that's always a maybe), money, graphic tee, polo, money...get the idea, i keep it consistant.
This year i got my timberlands (butters of course), polo cologne that comes with a complimentary polo bear upon purchase, Talladega Nights (which one the Academy Award for Greatest Movie Ever), portable DVD player, some Jordan and Lebron basketball shorts, Nas CD, and a couple dollars...and that was just from tiffany and her family...you know i love them....LOL..
My mommy(my aunt)and uncle keeps it simple, i tell her all i need is wife beaters, v-neck undershirts, boxers, socks, money and a flat screen t.v. and i'm good. What does she buy, wife beaters, v-neck undershirts, boxers, socks, money and a flat screen t.v.; gotta love that.
My father and his wife don't ask me they buy me things that they think that i need, like a wallet (that had money in it), shirts for work, long johns and a watch.
As i said i can't complain for x-mas i was treated very well and i was happy with everything that i received.
I hope that people enjoyed the presents that i gave. Those gifts ranged from a camcorder, massage chair, personal session with a massage therapist, ipod stereo puppet, french cuffed dress shirts, seat warmers, cologne, night gowns, night robs, gift baskets etc....
During this time of giving it is one thing that I always remember. How fortunate I am to have a family and friends that care enough to spend the holidays with me. I received so many texts wishing me and my family happy holidays, and i think about the people who don't hear that or are not able to receive all the many things that i received for x-mas. So take the time to reflect on how blessed you and your family really are. It makes the holidays that much more enjoyable to realize how fortunate you are to be in the position you are in.
I gave away clotes to the salvation army. It didn't seem like a lot to me but to someone else it could be the difference between freezing outside and staying warm.
And if you can volunteer some time some where doing something with in your community or give something i encourage everyone to do so.
It may not seem like much but it means a lot to those you are helping.
Happy Holiday

Quick Read

2006-12-11T14:04:00.000-05:00

I do have things to blog about but i don't have the time right now....Plus, i'm sure TTD has informed everyone about Vegas and how good of a time we had. I know i haven't blogged lately but i have had a heavy work load since returning. I did want to take the time to share something that maybe a inspiration to someone, b/c the person who sent it to me, did that for me with this fwd.....

CLEANING HOUSE 2006

Last week I threw out Worrying, it was getting old and in the way.

It kept me from being me; I couldn't do things God's way.

I threw out a book on MY PAST (didn't have time to read it anyway).

Replaced it with NEW GOALS, started reading it today.

I threw out hate and bad memories, (remember how I treasured them so)?

Got me a NEW PHILOSOPHY too, threw out the one from long ago.

Brought in some new books too, called I CAN, I WILL, AND I MUST.

Threw out I MIGHT, I THINK and I OUGHT . WOW, you should've seen the dust.

I ran across an OLD FRIEND, haven't seen him in a while.

I believe his name is GOD, Yes I really like His style.

He helped me to do some cleaning and added some things Himself.

Like PRAYER, HOPE AND FAITH, Yes I placed them right on the shelf.

I picked up this special thing and placed it at the front door.

I FOUND IT- its called PEACE . Nothing gets me down anymore.

Yes, I've got my house looking nice. Looks good around the place.

For things like Worry and Trouble there just isn't any space.

It's good to do a little house cleaning, get rid of the things on the shelf.

It sure makes things brighter; maybe you should try it yourself

Birthday Weekend Wrap Up

2006-11-21T08:21:00.000-05:00

I do apologize for not posting yesterday but i was swamped with emails and work from Friday when I was out of the office. For pictures as you know TTD is the picture queen so by now i'm sure you have seen the pics.
I had a wonderful friday,started with lunch from TTD at the capital Grille; For the love of good food if you come in town go there and order the porterhouse steak and mashed potatoes.
Lets move on to the night life. Got dressed up and i must say i know i was dressed so fly, yeah i said it and i be damed if i was wrong...LOL>..Thanks to all the bloggers that came out, shout out to Tif for leading his ear, but I do appreciate all of you coming out.
In a nut shell Friday was a great night from 9-12:30am after that, and the stripping episode, everything is a little foggy.I heard everyone was happy with the turn out of the crowd...Great parties for great people What do you expect it was by b-day and wasted wasn't a word to describe me, i don't think they invinted one...LOL...
Got up Saturday and went to the gym, which a lot of people couldn't believe b/c i had so much to drink, but when i drink jack i don't get hangover....but anyway went to dinner with TTD and my parents at Bone Fish...I recommend the Bang Bang Shrimp they come with chop sticks so it's a little shaky to eat...unless you use a fork that is and then it was chow time...LOL
Western night I was already sleepy b/c I hadn't slept much the previous night or all day Saturday, so watched most if not all of the night. TTD and her friend Nikki had a wonderful time dancing and drinking alot...LOL..(POY). It wasn't as fun as last year b/c the DJ didn't play alot of line dancing music as he usually does, which disappointed me. I enjoyed watching the line dance and looked fwd to doing it this year, but oh well there is always year after next....b/c next year my b-day falls on a Saturday...So mark your Calendars early...LOL
The rest of the weekend tried to chill and relax, not to much going on after that..this week will be hectic due to the holiday's but i will manage...

God's Gift...an Angel

2006-11-16T12:02:00.000-05:00

Tomorrow is the day I celebrate the day of my birth....I know many of you know that already but just in case you didn't know that i am blessed. Now if for some reason you don't like story telling life dwelling blogs then stop reading, i'm going to let you in on my life....I gots to talk and tell my story the way i see it...

Born Tuesday 3:47am (rainy morning): 11/17/1978, Provident Hospital/Sinai Hospital
City/State: Baltimore, MD.
Father: James Dickey
Mother: unknown...LOL (Patricia Richardson)

My life started slow it wasn't this beautiful picture of a man that you see before you. Like painter in front of a blank canvas, after time turns that canvas into a master piece so is the story of my life..(cliff note version)
I was born in the ghetto/hood/inner city (what ever the term is now) and although i was too young to understand we were not well off. I knew enough that my mother lived with my god mother and her 6 children in west baltimore. I remember my early childhood vividly b/c there was always someone arguing or someone fighting or smoking drinking doing something around me. But i never remember suffering.
To look at us we were no different than anyone else in the neighborhood. Like Jay-Z said, "you know why the call it a project, b/c it's a project"; Some times you think about the things that are said in raps and think that people who live or do things a certain way to survive are different but they are just like you. I remember, going to my neighbors house to eat dinner b/c we didn't have food in our house and it wasn't like they didn't know but they never made me feel ashamed, they always invited me over and of course I always went. I remember meeting my brother derek for the first time when i was 5, he burnt my arm with an iron..(chocolate does melt against heat...LOL)
I remember when the house caught on fire and i was out carried like a football out of the house to safety, I remember watching my uncle have a seizure out side of my room and the paramedics uncovering needles in his bedroom. I remember my cousin finding his father, who had hung himself on 2 day after x-mas in the basement of the house.(early childhood)
I remember when my parents moved to California, for 2 yrs when i was about 6. My father and Patricia had gotten a job with TRW (huge IT company in the WestCoast); But I guess the money, respect and just not coming from that kind of enviornment does something to people. You start doing things you normally wouldn't do...cocaine, heroin, weed, alchohol. And what people say is true, in no time flat your life can spin out of control.. I remember Patricia and myfather asking me to carry trays to the den where their friends were. I didn't know at the time i was carrying line of coke to them, i had no idea, i was too young. But i wasn't to you to understand when my father went into rehab, and my aunt and uncle came out to help with the bills. I remember the feeling of relapse when my god father had to come out to buy groceries for us b/c neither of my parents had the money to put groceries in the house.
I remember my father being passing out with bills in his hands that had large red letters on them...Eviction, Foreclosure, Turn Off, 3rd notice, Repo......then i vivid remember my father walking out saying he was leaving, going back to Baltimore to get help b/c the life out here was to overwhelming....I remember Patricia saying it will be okay, it's just you and me....and in a instant i remember Patricia (mother) putting me on a plane saying, I'm right behind your going to stay with your aunt and uncle until i get myself straight....(i was 8 and i didn't see Patricia or talk to her until I was 21)
I can remember seeing my dad once in a blue moon when i first moved with my aunt and uncle, and even then I couldn't really see him b/c he either showed up drunk or high. I remember starting middle school and having matching socks and jeans that fit. I remember going to the dentist on a regular basis and acutally knowing my doctors name.
I remember seeing snow for the first time and playing in the snow, having snow fights and then having hot cocoa afterwards..I remember getting my first easter suit, easter clothes, easter basket and easter tennis..(2 out of the 4 i still receive till this day..don't hate my mother (aunt) she loves me.)
I remember my mother and uncle paying for me to go to private school and me, playing basketball, soccer, baseball and lacrosse and being really good at all of them. I remember my mother(aunt) having a no non-sense attitude when it came to my grades (example I got a 65 in a class and she made me quite JV for a semester made the honor roll from 2nd Semester freshman yr until i graduated in the top 5% of my class)
I remember graduating and my mother (aunt), uncle and my father being there and being excited about what the future held for me.
I remember the scholarship letters i received and going to Lincoln. I remember struggling in the beginning b/c I wanted to be popular and well like, but i also remember the promise I made to my mother(aunt) i would graduate and do well b/c all she and my uncle sacrificed for me. I remember finding out my god mother who raised me like her soon had passed and dedicating a basketball game in her honor, scored 20points 10 assist and 6 steals that game. I remember the first drink I had and been a lush ever since...
I remember before graduation speaking to Patricia and her telling me she was going to come to my graduation. I remember graduating and Patricia not being there, but i remember not caring b/c my mother(aunt) was there emotional as ever and proud of her son, who made..."Momma, i made it" Jay-Z....
6yrs after graduation, i'm not exactly where i want to be but i'm come far from the place that I started. I have many more years ahead of me, and a great supporting system to help me along the way. My God, my woman, my mother (aunt), uncle, father, brothers, god brothers and sisters, nieces, nephews and close friends (inner circle) and new friends surround me...so i'll be alright..."As I look back over my life...and I see how the lord is guiding me, even though I've done wrong, you never left me alone you forgave me and you kept you blessing."
So today the day before I celebrate my day of birth I give thanks to all those that have played a role in shaping and molding me into the man I am today. When you look at me look at my past, b/c it tells the story of a man that has come a long way...

Happy birthday to me...

Jay-Z

2006-11-13T10:30:00.000-05:00

I am going to talk about my weekend later but just a really quick blurp...i have heard the new album and it's good....and as i expected the king didn't shy away as i hoped he addressed Camron...track 12 i believe...but Jay-Z is back next is Nas hip hop is alive and well....

"if you ever need me just throw your diamond signs in the air"

2006-11-10T14:35:00.000-05:00

Hey people, you ever sit next to someone at work and all they do is yap yap yap, and it would be okay if it was about something but it's about nothing. And mind you there on the other side of the wall so everything they talk about i can hear. How about we use our inside voice and not have conversation that everyone can hear. Conversation that we shouldn't hear. What you do in the privacey of your bed room is you business, but telling someone that you looked good for whomever in your nightly isn't a imaginary picture we want to see. Nor is the thong you talk about that you hate getting stuck in your ass....how about you discuss that somewhere I can't hear...
Yap Yap Yap, i ate brushetta and a nice wine, yap yap yap yap, for lunch tomorrow, yap yap yap. I can't stand my ingrown toe nail, yap yap yap, i tried changing my hair color yap yap yap. Where the hell is Terry Tate when you need him
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vsqjM9AEqlU (copy & paste into your URL)

Sorry people i had to vent.

My weekend is busy what's new, tonight i have a dinner party to go to for my homie TE she is 21 for the 6th time. I have to go get her gift when i get off of work, i have something in mind that i'm sure she would like.
Saturday we are going to the Lodge Bar where all you have to do is mention my name James (if you happened to be in the area come on through) and you get in for free. Or you can mention Kween who birthday is that actual day and we will be celebrating, knowing her she will be wasted, but it's always fun. (have her gift too she will be surprised)
So while TTD and her friends are enjoying the STRIPPER and TOYS i will be at the bar being the Lush i am all alone and enjoying myself until anyone of my friends choses to join me. Plus Cody will be there, the best bartendar in the area...drinks on him, so i will be fine.
Sunday after my game and TTD gets off of work we are headed to Laurel, to see my blog homie, who has some Curry Chicken (oh my goodness I love you for this) and some rice and peas and a little refreshments.(for those that are slow, liquor)

Then begins Monday which is the 5 day count down to the greatest event this city has ever seen. And if you don't know what it is by now, this is the last time, i'm telling you....It's my birthday party at EDEN'S Lounge...If you want to come you are more than welcome and trust me you will have a good good good time.

Enjoy your weekend

2006-11-05T20:40:00.000-05:00

(throw your hands up)
If you read Tiffany's blog then you already know what i did this weekend but i thought i would share my own photo's with you for you to see how the party with her cousins went a Club One....

Right here we have a picture of Tiffany's Cousins with her twin (Nikki) just sipping on some drinks having light conversation...

(damn that flash is bright) Here is a picture of me TTD and Nikki. You can see my eyes squinting from the bright flash of her camera...I know you maybe thinking its from drinking but unfortunately i was the DD that night so no drunk pictures for me...

Here is my soon to be mother in Law(lol) doing the Lean wit it Rock wit it, with TTD's twin Nikki

(Look Ma no Hands)

During the party we started having a lot of fun dancing and clowning around with each other, so i decided to show I had dance skills and didn't need my hands.

(me and the actress Kween)

Kween was there with us as well, partying and striking a pose as she does at so many functions that we attend. (this pic is more like Moca Chocolate and White Chocolate...LOL)

(i love my friend)
This is TTD best friend (outside of myself...LOL) Ericka. She came all the way from Charlotte, N.C.. We will be going to see her in a few weeks so you know you will get pictures from us partying in N.C.

(Ericka and I)

This is me and my homie Ericka, we get along well and she tells TTD all the time that she is so happy that TTD has found happiness. I'm happy too b/c she is a really good friend to TTD, i'm glad she came to party with us

the night was winding down and like all clubs they play a song young or old has captured a generation......

Since, since we've been togetherLoving you foreverIs what I needLet me be the one you come running toI'll never be untrueLet's, let's stay togetherLovin' you whether, whetherTimes are good or bad, happy or sad

2006-10-30T09:41:00.000-05:00

Let me tell you a story about LINCOLN UNIVERSITY and it's HOMECOMING. Blogger is acting weird so i am unable to post all of the picturese but when I am able too you will see them all..

All though dark the picture below is a picture of the guys of Kappa Alpha Psi. Many of those guys are close friends of mine and although it was cold outside we watched them do their step thing.

For those of you that have never been to Lincoln there is a sub called a belly buster, i refuse to try to eat one of those things b/c a belly buster consist of a 2foot long sub. In this case it was a cheese steak. My brother and Tiffany took on the task of eating this belly buster. Tiffany failed on her first attempt to eat the whole, thing but let me tell you on this day her and my brother both killed, crused and destroyed that sub. Tiffany indicated she felt like busting, hence the name belly buster, my brother (we call him Mickey from the Kix kid cereal commercial "give it to Mikey he will eat.... and indeed he did...the reason you see two plates is b/c 1/2 of the sub alone takes up two plates....and he wanted some more...damn shame....LOL

this picture reminds me of the black version of "Grumpy Old Men" with Ricky, Me and Corey

Although there we were never well represented as a city we all knew each other and have become close friends. Here below is a picture of a few of the girls that we called our little sisters from Baltimore.
Tameeka, Ricky, Me, Naj, and Aliesha

Also we have a picture of the guys from Alpha Phi Alpha, which at Lincoln was rare for a while b/c the had been suspended for a while but made a return to campus right before we graduated. As you can see from the circle they came together for homecoming to show the strength in numbers.

Here is a picture at the Alumin Party of Michelle, Kirby, Mushie and Ricky

Alumni party....
this is it for now, all the other pics will not load...I promise to show all the rest of the pictures at a later point and time but as you can see homecoming was okay...cold as hell but still okay. Homecoming 2006 is in the books...hopefully we can do it again next year and maybe blogger will have it's act together by then....

Natual Highs

2006-10-25T15:34:00.000-04:00

Think about them one at a time before going on to the next one . It Does Make You Feel Good, especially the thought at the end #45

1. Falling in love.
2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
3. A hot shower.
4. No lines at the supermarket.
5. A special glance.
6. Getting mail.
7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
11. Chocolate milkshake (vanilla or strawberry).
12. A bubble bath.
13. Giggling.
14. A good conversation.
15. The beach
16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.
17. Laughing at yourself.
18. Looking into their eyes and knowing they Love you
19.Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
20. Running through sprinklers.
21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
22. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
23. Laughing at an inside joke with FRIENDS
25. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
26. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
27. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).
28. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
29. Playing with a new puppy.
30. Having someone play with your hair..
31. Sweet dreams.
32. Hot chocolate 3
3. Road trips with friends.(blog meet and greets)
34. Swinging on swings.
35. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
36. Making chocolate chip cookies.
37 Having your friends send you homemade cookies.
38 Holding hands with someone you care abo ut.
39. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.
40. Watching the _expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you. 41. Watching the sunrise.
42. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.
43. Knowing that somebody misses you.
4 4. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.
45. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.

Meet and Greet II

2006-10-23T11:54:00.000-04:00

(before i begin i apologize b/c blogger is acting crazy and I am unable to post my pics... i will post at a later time)
The weekend that was….
Friday was a good relaxing evening, nothing happened that is worth mentioning so let’s fast forward to Saturday.
Saturday was the Baltimore Blogger Meet and Greet. As usual with all the black folks involved the 7pm meeting time turned in to 7:30-7:45pm, but what do you expect. So once TTD and I picked up Organized Noise we drove down to Houlihans to meet up with the fellow bloggers. The first two bloggers to arrive were our good friends Bkln diva and No1Special.. As soon as they got there we immediately ordered drinks. Bklndiva ordered a Moijito, TTD and I shared a 1liter Long Island Ice Tea, Organized Noised ordered a screw driver and I want to say No1Special ordered a Rasberry 1Liter Ice Tea. Soon there after TE and Brian showed and by then we all decided to move to our table. Kween got there late, but what do you expect from a actress....she had to make a entrance... Once seated everyone began to converse about what school they represented, LU (first historically black institution), Morgan State, Penn State and Norfolk State respectiviely and lets not forget about Tesst Institute..
After we ordered our appetizers, let the drinking begin…Quad who was our waiter and looked like a younger version of Michael Jackson (before he had been touched or should I say before he touched someone) began to bring us drinks. Quad didn’t know he had a table of drunks, out table looked liked the bar after a while.....

1 Liter Long Island, Mojito, Screw Driver, Mud Slides, Long Island without the Tea, Jack and Coke, Mini Martini’s, Rasberry Long Island, Shot of French Almond Whiskey (don’t ask, but it’s good) and I’m sure I’m leaving a alot of others out…but you can just imagine….

We the ordered our food and began to eat our food. You can tell when people are eating b/c I don’t remember us talking while we ate…Well that was until Bkln Diva realized she had a mushroom in her meal. If you don’t know she is allergic to mushrooms and it could have ended up very fatal for her….which would have ruined the evening I might add….but luckily she looks at her food instead of just chowing down, like the rest of us did and she caught the mushroom. (thankfully)
So then we began to converse some more and play games…Never have I ever is a game that is fun and you get to learn a lot about people. Plus it’s a game for all of you that are sexually active (which I’m not, I’m saving myself for marriage) gives you the opportunity to realize that you aren’t the only one that has done something. Never have I ever had sex in a car, Never have I ever had sex at work, ….so you can imagine why so much alchol was being consume…But the best question of the night needed a demonstration, (**No1Special**ask her to demonstrate)
I would tell you what the demonstration was but I will leave up to your imagination…

We continued to drink and laugh for a couple of hours but like all good things the night had to come to a end…So after a few people had dessert we decided to call a quits but not before we all took photo opportunities (once again due to the fact blogger pictures suck....see TTD post)

To all the bloggers, i just wanted to say whether in D.C. or in MD i enjoyed meeting and socializing with you all. Can't wait until we all are on the same schedule and are able to gather and socialize together...that will be a sight to see....

Yeah 2 day vacation is here

2006-10-20T08:36:00.000-04:00

Not really much to say today, just happy that today is Friday and I get my two vacation days that i get every week. This weekend the plans are really quite simple. Relax on friday after i get off and do nothing . Reflect on the past work week and figure out a plan to get the hell out of working...LOL..Sat. is a little more promising, i plan to go to the gym (sculped my body for my lady...LOL) and possibly go to the MSU Homecoming Tailgate, but that all depends on how i feel after i work out. Ending the night off TTD and I are suppose to meet up with fellow bloggers for dinner and possibly a comedy show(not sure about the comedy show but we will see)
Sunday I have 8:30am service followed by a basketball game. The rest of the day will be spent deciding whether i want to come into the office for overtime. See i have to save money for something but it's hard when you don't have it to save. (see previous post) So more than likely since TTD works this weekend I will go into the office for a few hours and get that free OT. Then hopefully when i get off my sister is suppose to cook or buy me and my friends dinner, so I also have that to look fwd too.
Outside of doing those things i really don't have anything going on. I know what you are thingking..... what a way to spend my two day vacation.
Seems like the cycle repeats itself every weekend b/c as soon as i get confortable during my vacation it's back to work...I think i may need to look into extending my vacation.
Oh well whay are your plans

Thoughts of life

2006-10-18T17:01:00.000-04:00

If you want more than a job change, if you want more than a career change, if what you really desire is a meaningful life change… maybe it’s time you thought about changing course.

Work Should Do More Than Just Pay the Bills

How do you discover your life mission or tap into your true calling? And even if you do, how can you turn your dreams into reality? I mean, the bills are still coming in. And your family and friends will probably tell you you're out of your mind.
I began asking myself in earnest if I really believed I was meant to spend my best years commuting 2 miles a day to a stressful job. Was it midtwenty-life career crisis? Perhaps, but let me cut to the chase: As far as I'm concerned, life is too short to spend toiling at a job that pays the bills but doesn't feed your spirit.

And I'm not just saying that for effect. People who are happy with their work actually live longer. One of the factors that lead individuals into living a long life, even more important than good health habits or good genes – is work satisfaction. I mean, it makes perfect sense. Do you really think you were put on this planet to spend your weekends running around like a nut doing all the errands you have no time for during the week? Do you believe, deep inside, that your life calling revolves around performance reviews, pointless meetings, or a never ending stream of email?

It Has Been Said That the Only Real Success is Being Able to Spend Your Life in Your Own Way
I discovered that changing course is not an event — it's a process.
Although it is only a dream right now, I call it the
Steps to Escaping the Job World and Creating the Life You Really Want (this is how it would go)

On this day, I feel blessed with riches no amount of money can buy. One day I would like to work for meaning, and not money. If that were the case, I would work hard, often putting in long hours. But I also enjoy considerably more control over my time and life (not to mention being able to knock off some household chores while I wait for baby to come over or take off and go to the gym and work out). I'm not what you'd call a morning person. In the old days I used to be jarred out of bed by an alarm clock. But if I were living the life I know I was born to live, I would wake up when I wanted.
I would have a comfortable, two-minute commute from my bedroom to my home office. Iwould set my own vacation policy and, in the warmer months, I'd even have time to enjoy the summer days and long summer nights. (that are now spent in a 8X5 cell I call a cubicle)

Is Making a Meaningful Career Change Really Worth It?
Lots of people wonder whether making a major career change is worth it. After all, it's a lot easier to stay stuck, even if that means being miserable.

I'd argue it's worth every bit of effort. You've got to want it ever say something like, "I really need to get in shape" and have everybody around you nod in emphatic agreement? So why aren't you doing something about it? Chances are something else is more important to you than your goal. That might be watching TV, playing computer games, blogging(lol), myspace, or eating fatty foods, but you're making a decision that something is more important to you. Next time you make one of these statements, ask yourself how badly do you really want to achieve this goal? Do you want it badly enough to make some sacrifices in your current lifestyle? Then go for it!
Achieve it...

Don't procrastinate
My mother has all sorts of plans for weight loss. She has diet books, exercise equipment and even a gym membership. She also has plenty of reasons why she can't start right now. Procrastinating until things are just right is the surest way to failure. If you have a goal to accomplish, start now. No more excuses.

Learn from your failures
Rather than beating yourself up over past failures, learn from them. When Thomas Edison was building the light bulb the question was asked, "how do you feel knowing you failed 200 times before you got it right? Thomas Edison replied, I never failed dear boy, I just found 199 ways on how not to make a light bulb."

Acknowledge that you will slip and forgive yourself
Even the strongest of us will occasionally slip. The important thing is not let this signal the end of your efforts. Dust yourself off and get right back in the saddle as soon as you can.

Don't let other people's fear of change stop you
Change can be frightening, not just for you but for those around you who have become accustomed to you being a certain way. You may find that your friends and loved ones will try in subtle ways to sabotage your efforts. Over the past year many of my co-workers embarked on new careers when people told them not to or they should stick with it and bare it out. I am very proud of there accomplishments. Be aware that those around you may feel threatened by change. It's not that they want you to fail. They just don't know how to adjust to the changes in their own lives resulting from your success.

Get support
Sharing success, setbacks, and tips with other people who have your same goals is a good way to keep yourself motivated and on track. When you are feeling disappointed they can offer you a helping hand. When you are feeling like giving up, they can help you remember why it is you wanted to embark on your journey of change in the first place.

I'm Baaaack.....

2006-10-17T08:22:00.000-04:00

due to the fact that i met some really cool people who blog this weekend i think i will return from a long vacation and get back in the blogger circle. Just want to say thanks for a great weekend to all bloggers whom i met this weekend. I will be sure to add you all as bloggers that others should check out...

Let it sink in....

2006-05-30T14:22:00.000-04:00

LET IT REALLY SINK IN -
John is the kind of guy you love to hate. He is always in a good mood and always has something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, "If I were any! better, I would be twins!"
He was a natural motivator.

If an employee was having a bad day, John was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.

Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up and asked him, "I don't get it!
You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?"

He replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or ... you can choose to be in a bad mood.
Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or...I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it.

Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or... I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive
side of life.

"Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested. "Yes, it is," he said. "Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a
choice. You choose how you react to situations You choose how people affect your mood.

You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It's your choice how you live your life."

I reflected on what he said. Soon hereafter, I left the Tower Industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I
made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.

Several years later, I heard that he was involved in a serious accident, falling some ! 60 feet from a communications tower.

After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, he was released from the hospital with rods placed in his back.

I saw him about six months after the accident.When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins...Wanna see my scars?"
I declined to see his wounds, but I did ask him what had gone through his mind as the accident took place.

"The first thing that went through my mind was the well-being of my soon-to-be born daughter," he replied. "Then, as I lay on the ground, I remembered
that I had two choices: I could choose to live or...I could choose to die. I chose to live."

"Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked. He continued, "..the paramedics were great.
They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the ER and I saw the doctors and nurses faces, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read 'he's a dead man'. I knew I needed to take action."

"What did you do?" I asked. "Well, there was a big burly nurse shouting
questions at me,! " said John. "She asked if I was allergic to anything. 'Yes, I replied.' The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my
reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Gravity'."

Over their laughter, I told them, "I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead." He lived, thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude... I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live
fully.

Attitude, after all, is everything.

Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34.

After all today is the tomorrow you worried about
yesterday.

Quote of the day

2006-05-23T09:48:00.000-04:00

It's not that some people have willpower and some don't. It's that
some people are ready to change and others are not.

We can't blame him for this...

2006-05-18T11:18:00.000-04:00

Can't Blame White People

They're standing on the corner and they can't speak English. I can't even talk the way these people talk: "Why you ain't,Where you is,What he drive,Where he stay,Where he work,Who you be"... And I blamed the kid until I heard the mother talk. And then I heard the father talk. Everybody knows it's important to speak English...except these knuckleheads.
You can't be a doctor with that kind of crap coming out of your mouth. In fact you will never get any kind of job making a decent living.People marched and were hit in the face with rocks to get an education, and now we've got these knuckleheads walking around. The lower economic people are not holding up their end in this deal. These people are not parenting. They are buying things for kids. $500 sneakers for what? And they won't spend $200 for Hooked on Phonics. I am talking about these people who cry... when their son is standing there in an orange suit. Where were you when he was 2? Where were you when he was 12? Where were you when he was 18...? and why didn't you know that he had a pistol? And where is the father? Or who is his father?
People putting their clothes on backward: Isn't that a sign of something gone wrong? Pants down around their ass', isn't that a sign of something? Or are you waiting for Jesus to pull his pants up?

Isn't it a sign of something when she has her dress all the way up and got all type of needles piercing going through her body? What part of Africa did this come from? We are not Africans. Those people are not Africans; they don't know a thing about Africa. With names like Shaniquabonsheka , Taliqua and Daverion and all of that crap, and all of them are in jail.
Brown or black versus the Board of Education is no longer the white person's problem. We have got to take the neighborhood back. People used to be ashamed. Today a woman has eight children with eight different 'husbands' -- or men or whatever you call them now. We have millionaire football players who cannot read. We have million-dollar basketball players who can't write two paragraphs.
We as black folks have to do a better job. Someone working at Wal-Mart with seven kids saying... "you are hurting us."We have to start holding each other to a higher standard. We cannot blame the white people any longer. It is not for media or anyone of this time anymore to say whether I'm right or wrong. It is time, ladies and gentlemen, to look at the numbers. Fifty percent of our children are dropping out of high school. Sixty percent of the incarcerated males happen to be illiterate. There's a correlation.
Tell the media to stop asking me what I think about people who don't believe what I'm saying or feel that I'm too harsh or feel that I'm just running my mouth because I'm old. Seventy percent of the teenagers pregnant happen to be African American girls. Don't ask me to soften my message. This is my message...deal w/ it

Bill Cosby

Tell me what you think

2006-05-17T17:45:00.000-04:00

been gone for a while, did you miss me...working on a topic that i hope will be entertaining as well as capturing your minds when you read it...make sure that you don't forget about me.....b/c it's coming...

My final thought on successful relationships

2006-04-24T08:34:00.000-04:00

If you're not married yet, share this with a friend. If you are

married, share it with your spouse or other married couples and reflect

on it. An African proverb states, "Before you get married, keep both

eyes open, and after you marry, close one eye." Before you get involved

and make a commitment to someone, don't let lust, desperation,

immaturity, ignorance, pressure from others or a low self-esteem, make

you blind to warning signs.
Keep your eyes open, and don't fool yourself

that you can change someone or that what you see as faults aren't really

important. Once you decide to commit to someone, over time his or her

flaws, vulnerabilities, pet peeves, and differences will become more

obvious. If you love your mate and want the relationship to grow and

evolve, you've got to learn to close one eye and not let every little

thing bother you. You and your mate have many different expectations,

emotional needs, values, dreams, weaknesses, and strengths. You are two

unique individual children of God who have decided to share a life

together.

Neither of you are perfect, but are you perfect for each

other? Do you bring out the best in each other? Do you compliment and

compromise with each other, or do you compete, compare, and control?

What do you bring to the relationship? Do you bring past relationships,

past hurt, past mistrust, past pain? You can't take someone to the altar

to alter him or her. You can't make someone love you or make someone

stay. If you develop self-esteem, spiritual discernment, and "a life",

you won't find yourself making someone else responsible for your

happiness or responsible for your pain. Manipulation, control, jealousy,

neediness, and selfishness are not the ingredients of a thriving,

healthy, loving and lasting relationship!

Seeking status, sex, wealth,

and security are the wrong reasons to be in a relationship. What keeps a

relationship strong? Communication, intimacy, trust, a sense of humor,

sharing household tasks, some getaway time without business or children

and daily exchanges (a meal, shared activity, a hug, a call, a touch, a

note). Leave a nice message on the voicemail or send a nice email.

Sharing common goals and interests. Growth is important. Grow together,

not away from each other, giving each other space to grow without

feeling insecure. Allow your mate to have outside interest. You can't

always be together. Give each other a sense of belonging and assurances

of commitment. Don't try to control one another. Learn each other's

family situation. Respect his or her parents regardless. Don't put

pressure on each other for material goods. Remember for richer or for

poorer. If these qualities are missing, the relationship will erode as

resentment, withdrawal, abuse, neglect, dishonesty, and pain replace the

passion. The difference between 'United' and 'Untied' is where you put

the i

Marriage is only for white people...what do think

2006-04-07T12:30:00.000-04:00

I read this article and wanted to share it w/ you

I grew up in a time when two-parent families were still the norm, in both black and white America. Then, as an adult, I saw divorce become more commonplace, then almost a rite of passage. Today it would appear that many -- particularly in the black community -- have dispensed with marriage altogether.

But as a black woman, I have witnessed the outrage of girlfriends when the ex failed to show up for his weekend with the kids, and I've seen the disappointment of children who missed having a dad around. Having enjoyed a close relationship with my own father, I made a conscious decision that I wanted a husband, not a live-in boyfriend and not a "baby's daddy," when it came my time to mate and marry.

My time never came.

For years, I wondered why not. And then some 12-year-olds enlightened me.

"Marriage is for white people."

That's what one of my students told me some years back when I taught a career exploration class for sixth-graders at an elementary school in Southeast Washington. I was pleasantly surprised when the boys in the class stated that being a good father was a very important goal to them, more meaningful than making money or having a fancy title.

"That's wonderful!" I told my class. "I think I'll invite some couples in to talk about being married and rearing children."

"Oh, no," objected one student. "We're not interested in the part about marriage. Only about how to be good fathers."

And that's when the other boy chimed in, speaking as if the words left a nasty taste in his mouth: "Marriage is for white people."

He's right. At least statistically. The marriage rate for African Americans has been dropping since the 1960s, and today, we have the lowest marriage rate of any racial group in the United States. In 2001, according to the U.S. Census, 43.3 percent of black men and 41.9 percent of black women in America had never been married, in contrast to 27.4 percent and 20.7 percent respectively for whites. African American women are the least likely in our society to marry. In the period between 1970 and 2001, the overall marriage rate in the United States declined by 17 percent; but for blacks, it fell by 34 percent. Such statistics have caused Howard University relationship therapist Audrey Chapman to point out that African Americans are the most uncoupled people in the country.

How have we gotten here? What has shifted in African American customs, in our community, in our consciousness, that has made marriage seem unnecessary or unattainable?

Although slavery was an atrocious social system, men and women back then nonetheless often succeeded in establishing working families. In his account of slave life and culture, "Roll, Jordan, Roll," historian Eugene D. Genovese wrote: "A slave in Georgia prevailed on his master to sell him to Jamaica so that he could find his wife, despite warnings that his chances of finding her on so large an island were remote. . . . Another slave in Virginia chopped his left hand off with a hatchet to prevent being sold away from his son." I was stunned to learn that a black child was more likely to grow up living with both parents during slavery days than he or she is today, according to sociologist Andrew J. Cherlin.

Traditional notions of family, especially the extended family network, endure. But working mothers, unmarried couples living together, out-of-wedlock births, birth control, divorce and remarriage have transformed the social landscape. And no one seems to feel this more than African American women. One told me that with today's changing mores, it's hard to know "what normal looks like" when it comes to courtship, marriage and parenthood. Sex, love and childbearing have become a la carte choices rather than a package deal that comes with marriage. Moreover, in an era of brothers on the "down low," the spread of sexually transmitted diseases and the decline of the stable blue-collar jobs that black men used to hold, linking one's fate to a man makes marriage a risky business for a black woman.

"A woman who takes that step is bold and brave," one young single mother told me. "Women don't want to marry because they don't want to lose their freedom."

Among African Americans, the desire for marriage seems to have a different trajectory for women and men. My observation is that black women in their twenties and early thirties want to marry and commit at a time when black men their age are more likely to enjoy playing the field. As the woman realizes that a good marriage may not be as possible or sustainable as she would like, her focus turns to having a baby, or possibly improving her job status, perhaps by returning to school or investing more energy in her career.

As men mature, and begin to recognize the benefits of having a roost and roots (and to feel the consequences of their risky bachelor behavior), they are more willing to marry and settle down. By this time, however, many of their female peers are satisfied with the lives they have constructed and are less likely to settle for marriage to a man who doesn't bring much to the table. Indeed, he may bring too much to the table: children and their mothers from previous relationships, limited earning power, and the fallout from years of drug use, poor health care, sexual promiscuity. In other words, for the circumspect black woman, marriage may not be a business deal that offers sufficient return on investment.

In the past, marriage was primarily just such a business deal. Among wealthy families, it solidified political alliances or expanded land holdings. For poorer people, it was a means of managing the farm or operating a household. Today, people have become economically self-sufficient as individuals, no longer requiring a spouse for survival. African American women have always had a high rate of labor-force participation. "Why should well-salaried women marry?" asked black feminist and author Alice Dunbar-Nelson as early as 1895. But now instead of access only to low-paying jobs, we can earn a breadwinner's wage, which has changed what we want in a husband. "Women's expectations have changed dramatically while men's have not changed much at all," said one well-paid working wife and mother. "Women now say, 'Providing is not enough. I need more partnership.' "

The turning point in my own thinking about marriage came when a longtime friend proposed about five years ago. He and I had attended college together, dated briefly, then kept in touch through the years. We built a solid friendship, which I believe is a good foundation for a successful marriage.

But -- if we had married, I would have had to relocate to the Midwest. Been there, done that, didn't like it. I would have had to become a stepmother and, although I felt an easy camaraderie with his son, stepmotherhood is usually a bumpy ride. I wanted a house and couldn't afford one alone. But I knew that if I was willing to make some changes, I eventually could.

As I reviewed the situation, I realized that all the things I expected marriage to confer -- male companionship, close family ties, a house -- I already had, or were within reach, and with exponentially less drama. I can do bad by myself, I used to say as I exited a relationship. But the truth is, I can do pretty good by myself, too.

Most single black women over the age of 30 whom I know would not mind getting married, but acknowledge that the kind of man and the quality of marriage they would like to have may not be likely, and they are not desperate enough to simply accept any situation just to have a man. A number of my married friends complain that taking care of their husbands feels like having an additional child to raise. Then there's the fact that marriage apparently can be hazardous to the health of black women. A recent study by the Institute for American Values, a nonpartisan think tank in New York City, indicates that married African American women are less healthy than their single sisters.

By design or by default, black women cultivate those skills that allow them to maintain themselves (or sometimes even to prosper) without a mate.

"If Jesus Christ bought me an engagement ring, I wouldn't take it," a separated thirty-something friend told me. "I'd tell Jesus we could date, but we couldn't marry."

And here's the new twist. African American women aren't the only ones deciding that they can make do alone. Often what happens in black America is a sign of what the rest of America can eventually expect. In his 2003 book, "Mismatch: The Growing Gulf between Women and Men," Andrew Hacker noted that the structure of white families is evolving in the direction of that of black families of the 1960s. In 1960, 67 percent of black families were headed by a husband and wife, compared to 90.9 percent for whites. By 2000, the figure for white families had dropped to 79.8 percent. Births to unwed white mothers were 22.5 percent in 2001, compared to 2.3 percent in 1960. So my student who thought marriage is for white people may have to rethink that in the future.

Still, does this mean that marriage is going the way of the phonograph and the typewriter ribbon?

"I hope it isn't," said one friend who's been married for seven years. "The divorce rate is 50 percent, but people remarry. People want to be married. I don't think it's going out of style."

A black male acquaintance had a different prediction. "I don't believe marriage is going to be extinct, but I think you'll see fewer people married," he said. "It's a bad thing. I believe it takes the traditional family -- a man and a woman -- to raise kids." He has worked with troubled adolescents, and has observed that "the girls who are in the most trouble and who are abused the most -- the father is absent. And the same is true for the boys, too." He believes that his presence and example in the home is why both his sons decided to marry when their girlfriends became pregnant.

But human nature being what it is, if marriage is to flourish -- in black or white America -- it will have to offer an individual woman something more than a business alliance, a panacea for what ails the community, or an incubator for rearing children. As one woman said, "If it weren't for the intangibles, the allure of the lovey-dovey stuff, I wouldn't have gotten married. The benefits of marriage are his character and his caring. If not for that, why bother?"

Part II

2006-04-07T08:40:00.000-04:00

(if you have not read "part I", please do so now before reading this)

You ask, do I qualify.
Can I fulfill your needs and become the man you need me to be?
My sister, are you prepared for what you've asked for?
Can you handle the responsibility?

Can you accept that, by GOD, I am the chosen
one, the authority, the comforter, and the head?
Will you submit and willingly follow my path?
Or will you fight with me instead?

If I am your King, will you treat me as such?
Will I get the best of your beauty an! d poise?
Or will I be subjected to an appearance
neglected, and checked with some serious noise?
When I talk, will you listen?
I mean whole heartedly and feel me?
Or will you rush me just to make your point too?
Can I be the man at all times? Even when it hurts?
Or is it just when it's convenient for you?

Can you love me for me, and not who you wish I could be?
Will you see the strong Black Man within?
Or will you always remind me of the all
the past brothers behind me and make me pay for their sins?

If I don't send you flowers the day your co-worker
received some, will you know that I love you still?
Or will my good name be uttered along with those other doggish brothers?
Will you question if my commitment is real?

Will you be patient and teach me to understand you,
and allow my knowledge of your needs to grow?
Or will you shut me out when I ask, Baby
what's wrong?
Or will you respond with, "Well a REAL man would know!"

When we first met, what was it that ca! ught your
eye? Was it my mind, my heart, my personality?
Or was it my suit, or my job, or do you love
what I drive, instead of what's driving me?

Yes I can, and I will, make love to you from midnight to the dawning of the sun.
But, if I tell you I'm tired, will you trust
I'm sincere or believe that there must be another one?
My sister, I love you and my heart can be yours. No woman could lead me astray.
But like you, I have needs, so I beg of you, please, in this love thang meet me half way.

In life's tough times I'll hold you, in the rough times I'll mold you;
your simplest wish will be my command.
My life is yours if need be.
Yes you can fully bleed me, and when hell comes, in your place, I'll stand.

A good relationship is a powerful institution that must be built on a foundation of two.
So to answer your question,
YES sister, I do qualify

Part I of III

2006-04-06T09:35:00.000-04:00

Hey people haven't blogged in a while, just some really quick post to get your minds thinking a little...the basis of my 3 part blog is that i read a article on marriage (i will share it in part III) The first two parts are to get you interested.....I'm gonna attempt to take you through a woman's mind then through a man's mind....

First here you go ladies ask you man......

Do you qualify to be the man I need you to be?
Will you be able to recognize the things you
need to see? Will you be able to understand, that
I'm a good woman and in my life I need a good man?
Do you qualify?

Do you qualify to fertilize my unproduced seeds?
Can you fulfill, as I can, all of our needs?
Can you put me in my place if you see I am slippin'?
Can you talk to me, wholeheartedly, not
constantly trippin??
Do you qualify?

Do you qualify to be called all mine?
Can you leave the other women and temptations
behind? Can you come to me with your problems and
not wait until it's too late?
Can you stand up and admit if you made a mistake?
Do you qualify

Do you qualify to be the honest ebony man I
would want you to be?
Would you be able to look me in my eyes and
admit your feelings to me?
Could you take me in your arms and make love to
me all night long?
Can you be sensitive and still be strong
Do you qualify?

Do you qualify to be my friend as well as my
lover? Can you put our love before any other?
Can you cherish me as if I were Diamonds &
Gold? Can you make me feel like I'm the last
woman you'll ever hold?
Do you qualify?

Do you qualify to be called a good man?
If I have doubts can you reassure me and understand?
Can your love intoxicate me as if I were High?
To be in my life, I need to know

DO YOU QUALIFY?

p.s. i must apologize i couldn't find the code to just play the instrumental of Love Jones while you were reading this...but use ur imagination..LOL

Part II

2006-03-24T11:18:00.000-05:00

In my opinion many of us feel like we've made deposits into society, yet we are unable to make withdrawals. But the truth is, I don't wonder about what the world owes me any longer.
I know better, through a long arduas road of mental, physical, emotional and financial struggle, I've come to understand that the world really doesn't owe me anything. I've already been paid. Don't think so….well listen..
We get our gifts at birth. We're here. We're alive. We're given a set of circumstances, many to overcome, whether it be (in my case) race, poverity and others have some to elevate us. And yes, sometimes it seems that the way the world works is unfair. But from a long-range view, is that truly the reality?

What's really the difference between you and the next guy? Is the next person better off than you, smarter than you, faster to pick things up? Maybe, maybe not. But even in that capacity, the main differences between someone who is successful and someone who is living paycheck to paycheck or no check has nothing to do with that.

It has to do with determination, and taking advantage of the opportunities presented to you, more than anything else. The paths to the belief in yourself that yield that determination are many, but the end of that path is the same: success.
So who cares if the next person was born well off, or has some advantages or is smarter than you? Is it fair no, but don't make excuses to why you can't succeed. The rode to success for them will just be easier than your.

Between two people on an otherwise even keel, with the same chance for success, the tie-breaker trait is the willingness to do what it takes to get where they want to go. And that person is more likely to keep their eyes open for that chance to shine.
Nothing you ever learn from me or anyone else is magic- if I had a magic wand that would *poof* bring everyone success and instill the principles it takes to maintain it. I'd do it.

I'm not done with my journey to success yet. But looking at where I started and where I am now, every pain I had to go through to get here, every moment I had of feeling that I couldn't possibly go on, every tear that was shed, was worth it. It all shaped me into who I am, and makes me grateful every day for every single bit of accomplishment I have made, no matter how small.

Instead of worrying about what the world owes me, I focus on what the world has paid me. I have the opportunity, to make a change for myself and my children. The problem a lot of us have is that we don't ask questions, we fall into the cycle of acceptance. That's why the cycle of poverity continues. I didn't grow up w/ a silver spoon in my mouth (my next blog I will share my life childhood) but I asked questions. I had aspirations of obtaining more that what was around me.

In return for the hard work, I received the dividend of results. For my optimism, I got the ability to change my own universe through the power of thought and positive, well-timed action. In exchange for obeying the laws of attraction, I have more blessings in my life than I could have ever imagined.

We are not so much owed by the world, as we are indebted to its gifts, such as the ability to give.

Do I owe you

2006-03-22T10:39:00.000-05:00

Keep high aspirations, moderate expectations, and small needs...I read a post that talked about procrastination. People wonder why they don't have or why things have not been given to them. Let me ask you this, do you feel that you are entitled to riches w/o work? Do you believe society owes you?
In my opinion a lot of us go through life complaining, pointing the finger and blaming everything and everyone but our self – blaming the economy, the government, our up bringing, not having a degree or our current financial situation, etc, etc

I read another blog that was thoroughly well written and thought provoking. I didn't agree w/ what was said but I understood the point of view.
It stated that they understood the drug hustle, and they could understand why they do what they do...I can't, because the people that hustle and the hoods they grew up in are family. They had opportunities to do other things and didn't. They chose the path they wanted and are dealing w/ the cards that were dealt. But it's not just hustlers or ghetto's it's people in general who feel that they are owed or deserve hand outs. (i believe in help not hand outs)

Why do I say these things. I say these things b/c, what some people have failed to realize is that the very things we complain about as obstacles to progress are within our reach to change. That ability resides within us and is also determined by the activities in which we engage.
If you choose to blame your family background or your current financial situation, permit me to disappoint you; The majority of the world’s wealthiest individuals came from a broke, busted and bewildered (spellcheck) background.
Some people blame it on lack of education, but I that it is equally wrong to blame your inability to achieve in life on not having a formal education. Formal education emphasizes so much on passing and success that even one failure appears to be an end to any dream. Fortunately, the real world does not operate that way. And those that know that secret have put it to use and gone beyond numerous failures, as perceived by others, to achieve unimaginable success in life.

Nobody ever said the journey wouldn't be difficult or hard, in all reality, its the person who struggles, who fights that makes in life. They were driven by desire and ambition and a never-say-die mentality, no matter the odds against them.

Things are and never have been ideal but it's good enough for us to act in our desired direction. We must and then make modifications to our plans and goals and by which we will get along and begin to make progress.

This blog article is my opinion and is aimed at giving you my point of view that those who have the wrong belief that their heart’s desires and dreams can only be obtained once conditions are right or if conditions had been right.
How wrong they are?
As said earlier, it is within everyone's power to create those conditions and it begins with your dreams and aspirations and your ability to believe that nothing except death can prevent those dreams from reaching fruition as long as you never give up.

In essence, the world owes you nothing (well at least in my opinion) and you must begin to act in ways that would guarantee and create your own success in life. It is within your reach because others have done it before you and many more who know will continue to do it.

Just had to share.....know your neighbors

2006-03-15T11:29:00.000-05:00

I know many things don't amaze us anymore, but i recently came across a story that was so funny and sad at the same time. If you haven't heard in Arizona their is the case of the man who was arrested this weekend after being found in a neighbor's barn with his pants down and a gray lamb at his side.

Leroy Johnson, a deputy chief with the Mesa Fire Department, was nabbed shortly after the neighbor's teenage daughter watched him drag the animal into the family barn Saturday afternoon.
When later confronted, the 52-year-old Johnson, who apparently had been drinking, told the neighbor (who has the improbable name of Alan Goats), "You caught me Alan, I tried to fuck your sheep."
Warning, if you drink and find yourself in a barn the next morning...don't ask why the sheep are so friendly....LOL...Baaaaah

Corruption in the Church

2006-03-14T09:18:00.000-05:00

Today I am going to discuss a topic that everyone has heard of but a lot of people try to sweep it under the rug. I'm gonna voice my opinion on the on going issue of priest, pastor, clergy men or people of the cloth that have been wrapped up and convicted of sex crimes against their members.
More now than any other time we have found ourselves reading the news paper and finding articles such as, "A pastor was arrested on charges he downloaded child pornography using his church's Internet connection, authorities said." or "Police have arrested the pastor of a defunct church in Ponchatoula, Louisiana, his wife and six former congregants in a sexual abuse case involving as many as 24 children"
"For the second time in one week and a third time overall an Austin pastor was accused of indecency with a child." or "The pastor of an Anaheim church has been arrested on suspicion of molesting three boys and a girl — all congregants whom he met during services"
What in the world is going on where the men that we receive our religious guidance from are at the same time commiting some of the most hanus sins behind close doors. “I can’t believe he’s a sex offender.” As a people we are trained to think a person convicted of a sex crime should look a certain way: a crazy glint in the eye, a bad haircut, thick glasses. Sex offenders rarely fit this description.
Movies and the media have filled people’s heads with images of demented men snatching children. These stereotypes, matched with misinformation, make abuse difficult to understand. How could a priest or any upstanding member of the community commit a sex crime?
I chose this topic to blog about b/c recently a pastor in D.C. was arrested for raping, sadomising and kidnapping a girl that came to him so she could confide in him. She thought he was someone she could talk too. She thought that a chosen man of God would not do that too her. What do you think her view of preachers and priest are now? Do you think her view of the church will change? Currently what are your views of the church.
And what happens to the priest after these convictions, what punishement do they receive? What do church authorities do when a priest or pastor is accused of molesting children? They send him to a prestigious psychiatric hospital -- Johns Hopkins in Baltimore, the Institute of Living in Hartford, the Menninger Foundation in Topeka -- for "treatment." In practice, the psychiatric hospital is a safe house for the sexually misbehaving priest, a place where he can be hidden until he is quietly reassigned to continue his abuse elsewhere. Do you think this is proper punishment...me I don't...Punish with charity that priest, remove him immediately from his ministry, do the very best to rehabilitate him and take good care of the victims.
Honestly, I believe the Church is not legally responsible for the bad actions of a priest, as the Police Department is not legally responsible for the the bad actions of a police officer... the police officer or the priest who does something wrong should be the one responsible in person to the society and to the Courts, and to the Church or the Police Department.
There are sexual abuses in other religious groups, but no one has suit against Muslim or a Jewish leader, among other things, because Islam or Judaism will not pay millions to cover up the wrongdoing of their clergy or leaders... the individuals are the ones responsible for their actions... and the individuals can pay very little, not millions, often not worth of a lawyer's work... the money payments by the Christian/Catholic Church to protect the priest and cover up the scandal of a lawsuit is precisely one of the main reasons of so many lawsuits to Pastors or Priests...
Currently my thoughts are rambled and i can't think of anything positive to say b/c the thought of what people have to go through or their thoughts of christianity after they go through something like that is skewed. In your life the people whom you go to in trust and confide in, are your God, your parents and your pastor. When sex crimes happen and the pastor or the priest is convicted, sympathy and prayer are lifted up towards the priest. But what about the victim, the little girl or boy who where raped, the woman who was taken advantage of by her confidant. They are the real victims, but usually they are forgotten about and often times feel ostracized. Why is that?
sorry but just rambling and frustrated w/ the whole ordeal....

Definitely One of the G.O.A.T's

2006-03-08T15:49:00.000-05:00

Do you remember how you felt when you heard the news that, Biggie Smalls died. My first reaction was anger. I was angry that another talented Black man was no longer living. Why is it that so many people influential blacks have died way before their time.
Although they have moved on all of them have left us memories on them or have left something for the world to remember that they were here.... Individuals such as Martin Luther King, Malcolm X, Rosa Parks, Richard Pryor, Coretta Scott King, Luther Vandross, Lou Rawles,Shirley Horn, Nipsey Russell, Shirley Chisholm, Tupac Shakur Ossie Davis among many others...(and that's the really short list)
So today in memory of the very talented hip hop artist, The Notorious B.I.G. aka Biggie Smalls aka Christopher G. Wallace 1973-1997.
Let us take this day to remember what a lyrical genius Biggie Smalls was and actually still is. Although his life was taken from us we still can live through his music....
C'mon I know you feel me when I ask you....How many of us still nod our heads to,"I love it when they call me B.I.G. Poppa" or get pumped when we hear,"Who the hell is this, Pagin me at 5:46 in the Morning Crack of Dawn, now I'm Yawn'n. Wipe the cole out my eye, see who this pagin me and why" I'm sorry I was ready to give you guys the whole song.
When Biggie and Pac where around hip hop was just hitting it's peak, it was becoming mainstream, and although they are not around to see it we still pay our respects....to one if not thee Greatest of all Time...

Computer Love

2006-03-07T14:17:00.000-05:00

A friend who will remain nameless has told me she found that her boyfriend had a myspace acct. and had actually made a few friends online.(no big deal right) In discovering her boyfriends acct. (this is key, don't search for things b/c you may find something you don't want too) she found her boyfriend had made several different (female)friends on the acct. I personally didn't see anything wrong w/ it at first b/c online communication is wonderful for many people. It can provide easy access to friendship and support for the physically less-abled, the elderly, carers, and those living in remote locations, it also passes time at work.
the online accts are also places where people who struggle with shyness or low self-esteem, get the opportunity to build confidence and social skills in a non-threatening environment. But for others, this same accessibility has created problems.
When she was digging and following some of the contacts he had made she found he had made plans w/ a few of them and also had met up w/ a couple of them. This was disturbing to her b/c he hadn' mentioned anything about his new found friends. Now it was kind of intriguing to me b/c she stated they were going through something but nothing serious.
She said she felt betrayed b/c she didn't know what kind of things he may have discussed w/ these other people or what kind of relationship they have. She isn't sure whether they are just friends or whether it has developed into something more. (yeah she is naive)
I'm sure that for those who feel lonely or isolated in their relationship, the web is somewhere they can find a comforting ear. But isn't that why a lot of people use myspace and friendster, to make new friends. Whatever the reasons for being unhappy, the internet can become a tempting distraction from the heartache and hassle of tackling relationship problems.
(my tangent)
Hell, I know a couple of my friends, who have actually dated online people they've met, not that, those dates have developed into anything but they've done it. Now at the time they weren't in a relationship, so no harm no foul.
But meeting with others online or in person, often makes things worse. In talking to her I can tell she feels resentful of the amount of time spent online when they could be spending time together. And the more time you spend chatting, laughing, and sharing your problems with someone other than your partner, the further apart you're likely to feel from them. In speaking w/ her she feels isolated b/c he isn't sharing information w/ her and she is now on the outside looking in.

I asked her, if she had confronted him about how she feels about the acct and she said no...(she looking to be hurt) She is trying to justify his behaviour, saying it's not really anything serious, just conversation. "He never really had a lot of friends growing up." But I think that any intimate activity between two people that breaches the trust of a partner is cheating.(you hook up and meet) And that most certainly includes online relationships.
I told her the best thing she could do is confront her boyfriend and explain to him how she feels. Any comments on what else I should tell her to do????

Not my thoughts so do be affended.....

2006-03-06T07:55:00.000-05:00

I know a lot of people are probable wondering why the hell I have Andy Rooney on my blog page. Andy Rooney did a piece discribing minority priveliges in America. He discribes what a lot of people cry about...being a minority and how it makes us to be victims.
He also talks about the priveliges in regards to the things that are given or used by minorities. The following is what hes said, and before you become offensive or irritated by what he says think about it....

Right on, Andy Rooney
Andy Rooney said on "60 Minutes" a few weeks back:
I don't think being a minority makes you a victim of anything except numbers. The only things I can think of that are truly discriminatory are things like the United Negro College Fund, Jet Magazine, Black Entertainment Television, and Miss Black America. Try to have things like the United Caucasian College Fund, Cloud Magazine, White Entertainment Television, or Miss White America; and see what happens...Jesse Jackson will be knocking down your door.

Guns do not make you a killer. I think killing makes you a killer. You can kill someone with a baseball bat or a car, but no one is trying to ban you from driving to the ball game.

I believe they are called the Boy Scouts for a reason, that is why there are no girls allowed. Girls belong in the Girl Scouts! ARE YOU LISTENING MARTHA BURKE?

I think that if you feel homosexuality is wrong, it is not a phobia, it is an opinion.

I ha ve the right "NOT" to be tolerant of others because they are different, weird, or tick me off.

When 70% of the people who get arrested are black, in cities where 70% of the population is black, that is not racial profiling, it is the Law of Probability.

I believe that if you are ! selling me a milkshake, a pack of cigarettes, a newspaper or a hotel room, you must do it in English! As a matter of fact, if you want to be an American citizen, you should have to speak English!

My father and grandfather didn't die in vain so you can leave the countries you were born in to come over and disrespect ours.

I think the police should have every right to shoot your sorry ass if you threaten them after! If they tell you to stop. If you can't understand the word "freeze" or " stop" in English, see the above lines.

I don't think just because you were not born in this country, you are qualified for any special loan programs, government sponsored bank loans or tax breaks, etc., so you can open a hotel, coffee shop, trinket store, or any other business.

We did not go to the aid of certain foreign countries and risk our lives in wars to defend their freedoms, so that decades later they could come over here and tell us our constitution is a living document; and open to their interpretations.

I don't hate the rich. I don't pity the poor.
I know pro wrestling is fake, but so are movies and television. That doesn't stop you from watching them.

I think Bill Gates has every right to keep every penny he made and continue to make more. If it ticks you off, go and invent the next operating system that's better, and put your name on the building.

It doesn't take a whole village to raise a child right, but it does take a parent to stand up to the kid; and smack their little behinds when necessary, and say "NO!"

I think tattoos and piercing are fine if you want them, but please don't pretend they are a political statement. And, please, stay home until that new lip ring heals. I don't want to look at your ugly infected mouth as you serve me French fries!

I am sick of "Political Correctness." I know a lot of black people, and not a single one of them was born in Africa; so how can they be "African-Americans"? Besides, Africa is a continent. I don't go around saying I am a European-American because my great, great, great, great, great, great grandfather was from Europe. I am proud to be from America and nowhere else

! I PLEDGE ALLEGIANCE TO THE FLAG, OF THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA, AND TO THE REPUBLIC, FOR WHICH IT STANDS, ONE NATION UNDER GOD, INDIVISIBLE, WITH LIBERTY AND JUSTICE FOR ALL!
I was asked to send this on if I agree or delete if I don't. It is said that 86% of Americans believe in God. Therefore, I have a very hard time understanding why there is such a problem in having "In God We Trust" on our money and having "God" in the Pledge of Allegiance. Why don't we just tell the 14% to Shut Up and BE QUIET!!!

Now that you have had a chance to read the article (objectively) do you understand why I indicated I can't be upset at Andy Rooney for the things he said. A lot of things we don't look at from another persons perspective. We assume things should just be given to us or granted to us just because, we feel we are owed somehting. Not saying everything he said is correct but a lot of the things he says makes sense. We make certain situations so difficult when they really shouldn't have to be. I definitley believe that's the case, when it comes to racial issues. People try to make everything a race issue, when in essence everything isn't about race. It's almost like when people cry wolf, if you do it so many times, soon no body will believe you when it's truely the case. That's one of the things, that I think has happened w/ racial profiling. But not to be rambling, after reading this I hope that this article gets your mind to wandering, about what points are true and which one's are not....let the debate begin....

Dear Summer,

2006-02-28T11:39:00.000-05:00

Dear Street Corner Hustlers
I assume no one has every tried this approach w/ you so I waned to be the first. It may be a little ridiculous but, at least hear me out. (deep breath) What plans are you making for the next couple of months, I know when the weather breaks you can’t wait. I wanted you to think about taking the summer off. What I mean is that for 4-6 months see what it might be like, without all the shooting and killing? Baltimore is currently in the top 3 cities for murder rate, and drugs, and I know it’s celebrated in songs but what is that to be happy about. You’ve probable gone to more funerals or jails in one year than you have church services.

I know what your thinking, “this nigga must be stupid” and “he must be on that sh*t”; The crazy idea of you just shutting down the factory for a few months - way too much money to be made, and too many customers to serve.(hell we have all seen The Wire & The Corner) And then your afraid if you were to do that, someone would still your spot, b/c everybody thinks the spot they are selling at is the hotspot to get money. Somebody will try to steal your turf. Or since they see you aren’t their, someone may try to expand their territory.

I would never ask you to stop what your doing b/c that would be a ridiculous request, but I'm asking for one step at a time.

Truthfully who am I to stop someone from getting high or to stop you from your entrepreneurial conquest. It’s not so much the drugs or the selling of drugs. You can keep selling drugs. Just stop the shooting and the killing that goes with it.

I found out that I lost someone close to me recently b/c of these senseless acts of violence, and I'm asking you for a break. Grant us a small hiatus for families, children, friends, our grand parents, the little kids who can’t play our neighborhoods, everybody in this city. Just stop.

I dare you to take the chance, show some testicular fortitude – show the same balls and mind that you did when you decided to go out on that corner and risk your life for that dollar bill.

What’s the worst that can happen….Let me think, less crime, less murders, less kidnappings, less police harassment (I know you like that one), less jail time (see a pattern).

This may even be the best thing you could do for yourself. Use this time to evaluate what you're doing with your lives. Spend a little time w/ the 3 and 4 kids you claim at tax time, or take a vacation. Go beyond the corner of Hollins and Pulaski and just get out of town for a little bit. I know you don’t want to spend your remaining years selling dope, risking death or jail? I know people be talking that dumb sh*t, “I’m in it for life!” That’s a damn lie cause I have never seen a 70yr old man standing on the corner saying, “got that blue, got that red, and yellow” as you walk bye. Wouldn't you rather convert your cash to, say, good housing or clothing stores? Unless your doing Scareface deals, you make more money flipping houses than you do drugs.

So please consider what I’m saying b/c I’m just tired of turning on the news and seeing the same stuff over and over.
“Drug arrests // Police raided a house in the 600 block of N. Luzerne Ave. on Saturday night and arrested two men on charges of possession of marijuana with intent to distribute and possession of a handgun.” Or “Drug arrests // Members of the Organized Crime Division raided a house in the 1800 block of W. Lombard St. on Sunday night and arrested a man and two women on drug distribution and handgun charges.” And always “in the 2800 block of W. Garrison Ave. was identified Wednesday as the man who was fatally stabbed Monday evening during an argument in an apartment in the 3000 block of Thorndale Ave”

If you're going to continue to make money selling heroin and coke, you can at least drop the violence.

Sincerely

A concerned resident

Weekend

2006-02-27T15:53:00.000-05:00

I haven't posted since the scientific experiment, so I wanted to fill you in on how the weekend went for me.....
Lets start w/ Friday b/c Thursday wasn't a good day for my wife...see her post http://itrynot2care.blogspot.com/
But back to Friday for those that do not know, the wife and I had our first shindig at the new spot and what a shindig it turned out to be. We had roughly around 28-30 people at the apt.
Food b/c it was the first party we decided to feed everyone. We had Hell Hot Wings, Meatballs, Celery sticks, Potato salad, Spaghetti and chips. And when I say we had plenty of food that is probable a understatement. But I must admit no body complain about not getting any. If you didn't get any food at our place you just chose not to eat...Sh*t we still have food left over...anybody want some...LOL

Before I get too deep in the story, this http://www.DarwinAward.com goes to one of my homie who was at the party. She was an early arrival and decided to start drinking as soon as she got there. But her drink of chose kind of threw me for a loop, not b/c of what it was but b/c of how she drank it. She wanted Smirnoff Vodka straight so she had a cup for that. She said she wanted a chaser, so she got....you ready for this Fruit bunch...but w/ a double shot of Vodka in it...Em excuse me if I'm wrong, but i don't think you chase alchol w/ more alcohol, especially if its the same alcohol.

But back to the party, so it was suppose to start at 7pm but you know how we get down. So I would say around 10-10:30pm we started to pack the apartment, and trust me when the people came the drinks began to flow....Plus w/ the selection we had how could they not....Jack Daniels, 2 Smirnoff Vodka, E&J, Bacardi, 3 bottles of Hennessey, Long Island Ice Tea, Evan Williams, Coors Light, Jose Cuervo and 3 bottles of wine.

For any party you may have the drink list I just went through would have any party people ready to laugh it up. I would say from 10-2am the party was full and nobody left the entire time. We had this rule that throughout the night anyone who said, "I drink, you drink, we all drink except for Ricky" everyone in the room would drink except for Ricky for 10min. You never really understand how bad people want to drink until you play that game. I guess its the feeling of being left out.

People didn't start leaving unitl 2am and even then the party was still packed. With the food laughter and games. My neighbor had to come over and ask me to turn down the music b/c it was so late...better yet a friend who lives in the same complex called and said she could her the party from her house....(oh yeah Old School)

Things that were remembered at the party......One of my friends tried to open the door and missed the door knob completely and then he wanted to fight us b/c we wouldn't allow him to drive home. But luckily it didn't come to that and we got him a ride, so he was straight although he was ridiculously late for work the next day from what i hear.
Also some people when they are drunk try extra hard to talk to someone they dealt w/ in the past to see if they can get some, no strings attached sex.
My homeboy got cussed out by two different females who for a lack of words couldn't hold back their emotions on how hey feel about him when he says "hello". Thank goodness, he respects me enough not to sh*t on them b/c it would have gotten ugly.
Another thing I noticed is that people will make there way across town to stay for 10min and then leave b/c the have a addiction.(don't ask how I know) We realized that large parties are a great place to play Questions, "Don't I know your Baby's Mother?" But regardless of the situation some people come out just to be anti-social.(why come out at all) Lastly after a lot of drinks people just want to go home and pass out...

When are we doing it again, who knows, but if so just make sure your there...until the next party

My Weekend

2006-02-21T09:12:00.000-05:00

A lot of people have discussed drinking during the weekend. They have shared their stories and remembered the good times. I know that Day, Kween and my wife talked about the weekend drink but I wanted to do it w/ a little twist.... So hopefully you enjoy this and by no means are any of these characters real, they are ficticious and any resembalance to anyone you know is just coincidence....

How many people have told you what it's like to wake up and be at the bar by 10 a.m.
Remember the movie Identity....imagine us caught in a savage cold front(wind chill ridiculous in baltimore), seven friends are forced to seek out refuge at a bar at 10'oclock in the morning. They soon realize they've found anything but a bar..they found B.J. Mallards. Usually on saturday morning,Mallards is empty maybe one or two people locked in the bar with only one unthinkable way out,to drink...but this time there are seven. Seven friends -- unaware of their true connection(besides the six degrees of seperation) to each other -- forced to play out a game that challenges their wits and puts their lives in jeopardy.(only when driving home)

There is a abundance of liquor among them and, one by one, they get plastered. Flash back scene of the drinks.....

First Kick Rock Bitch, takes a shot of tequila,(mind you at 10'oclock in the morning)by 10:25 she tells the world how much she loves "each and everyone of you"

Hennessey is a lovely drink, throws down Hennessey like Vince Carter ,

I fell butterflys doesn't care what she drinks as long as it's liquid and in a glass..."Bar tender give me another"

Mr."Ohhh, I know I've been change" sits down and gets himself a Corona and a shot of Belvi...and we aren't talking about the housekeeper

Why do my breast touch like this had a Jack and Coke, true to herself and all others that are apart of the Jack Daniels cult…

The girl who likes skinny guys had a Malibu and Pineapple, which is a good. Last time she had a pineapple it had chocolate on it and let me tell you it wasn't good.

Lastly Mr. 7 Jack and Cokes later,what else can I say it was so hard not being drunk, but I was surely a barrel of laughs…….

As the drinks rage on and the glasses begin to outnumber the people at the bar, the one thing becomes clear: Each of them was drawn to the bar, not by accident or circumstance, but by forces beyond imagination, forces that promise anyone who survives a mind-and body binging destiny....

That's all I have to captivate your attention...but after the bar the rest is really a wrap...many of us went straight to sleep, then others of us fell asleep later in the day... But not one of us was able to wake up in time to do anything for the night..But one thing is for sure, after that Cold Febuary Morning Mallards and those friends will never be the same……that's until we go again…...whenever that is

The weekend ramble

2006-02-16T09:16:00.000-05:00

I'm looking fwd to the weekend. I know it's thursday and friday isn't here yet but hey, it's been a weird week. Looking back and putting things in perspective that most of us live for the weekend. For those that don't work it's a time to relax and if only for 2 1/2 days we forget what we do Mon-Fri. and just try to gather ourselves. It's funny how we work hard 5 days just reach the weekend. Hell, if it weren't for the weekend I think most of us would have nothing to look fwd too.
So looking fwd. the glorious weekend, yes the weekend, I'm off tomorrow,so for me the weekend starts early, come to think of it I'm off Monday and next Friday. Let's all enjoy the upcoming weekend. It's presidents day so kick your feet up and relax....

HAPPY V-DAY!!

2006-02-14T12:36:00.000-05:00

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres." - I CORINTHIANS 13:4-7 NIV

Lord,
Because love is patient...
Help me to be slow to judge, but quick to listen.
Hesitant to criticize, but eager to encourage,
remembering your endless patience with me.

Because love is kind...
Help my words to be gentle and my actions to be thoughtful. Remind me to smile and to say "Please" and "Thank You"
because those little things still mean so much.

Because love does not envy or boast, and it is not proud...
Help me have a heart that is humble and sees the good in others. May I celebrate and appreciate all that I have and all that I am, as well as doing the same for those around me.

Because love is not rude or self-seeking...
Help me to speak words that are easy on the ear and on the heart. When I'm tempted to get wrapped up in my own little world, remind me there's a great big world out there full of needs and hurts.

Because love is not easily angered and keeps no record of wrongs...
Help me to forgive others as you have forgiven me. When I want to hold onto a grudge, gently help me release it so I can reach out with a hand of love instead.

Because love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth...
Help me stand up for what is right and good. May I defend the defenseless, and help the helpless. Show me how I can make a difference.

Because love always protects and always trusts...
Help me to be a refuge for those around me. When the world outside is harsh and cold, may my heart be a place of acceptance and warmth.

Finally, because love always perseveres...
Help my heart continually beat with love for You and others. Thank you for this day when we celebrate love, and for showing us what that word really means.

Valentine's Day....Is it really today?

2006-02-13T16:20:00.000-05:00

There are varying opinions as to the origin of Valentine's Day. Some experts state that it originated from St. Valentine, a Roman who was martyred for refusing to give up Christianity. He died on February 14, 269 A.D., the same day that had been devoted to love lotteries.
Legend also says that St. Valentine left a farewell note for the jailers daughter, who had become his friend, and signed it "From Your Valentine". Other aspects of the story say that Saint Valentine served as a priest at the temple during the reign of Emperor Claudius. Claudius then had Valentine jailed for defying him. In 496 A.D. Pope Gelasius set aside February 14 to honor St. Valentine.

Gradually, February 14 became the date for exchanging love messages and St. Valentine became the patron saint of lovers. The date was marked by sending poems and simple gifts such as flowers.

Now that Valentines day has evolved over the years, many consider Valentine's Day as another way for greeting card companies, florists and chocolate makers to make a quick dollar, another excuse to get the gullible public to spend. However others see it as an excuse to be romantic.. In the rush of contemporary society romance takes a back seat and Valentine's Day is the one day of the year for the emotions of love to have free reign.

Hence Valentine's Day has become a symbol of romance and as such is used to inspire romantic expression.

I think Valentine's Day is a great holiday...Not really....It's all a bunch of bull...(don't get me wrong, TTD will have a Valentine's Gift)It's the one time of year when we are suppose to be extra special or show our true feelings for the person we are with, but what happened to the other 364 days (365 +1 for leap yr) when we are w/ the person we love.

On this particular day the world says that, "We are suppose to give each other a little bit more or treat each other a little bit better on Valentine's Day." If we are in a relationship I'm not only suppose to do things on Valentine's Day but on every other day too. In my opinion, once you get older Valentines Day loses it's allure, it's appeal....It doesn't have the same genesequa that it use to have.

See people view this day as something special, but everyday that I spend w/ my woman I think is special. I shouldn't wait until Valentine's Day to take her to dinner or to buy her flowers... I shouldn't need the world or a special day in order for me to let my lady know how I feel or how special she is to me. If I need a day to do that, in my mind it means that I'm not doing what I'm suppose to do. Once again, understand that I'm not down playing Valentine's Day, b/c I want a happy home and I definitely plan on doing something nice for my lady. But, I don't want Valentine's Day to be the only day, I decide to do something nice for her throughout the year. I don't want Valentine's Day to be a day that she feels, will be the only day of the year where I will truly do something special for her.

Sorry chief, not in my home. I need the woman, to know that her man will please her on any given day....And I'm not talking just pleasing, physically no, b/c it you wait until Valentine's Day to please your mate then something is wrong w/ you relationship that's way deeper than this...But mentally,emotionally, spiritually I want her to know that I aim to please not only on this day but everyday of the year.

Valentine's Day is the "hype" it's not what it's suppose to be. But since it is Valentines Day let me leave you w/ these few choice words...If you love someone let them know as often as you can. Sometimes we forget that what it took to get that person is the something it takes to keep that person. We tend to slack off once we get the person we are courting. If you write love notes or poems, continue to do that for you mate...If you call them to tell them you love them in the middle of the day, then keep doing that...Nothing makes someone feel better than to know that they are loved by someone else. Love, amour, Valentine, whatever you may call this day, be sure the moment last longer than a day...

Click the photo to enlarge

2006-02-02T11:28:00.000-05:00

My talk w/ my doctor

2006-02-02T07:59:00.000-05:00

I spoke to my doctor the other day about a lot of things, but most importantly I had some heatlth questions that had some unique answers...I thought I would share them w/ you.....

Q: I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life; is this true?

A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it... don't wastethem on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heartwill not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend t! he lifeof your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.

Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?

A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay andcorn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than anefficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eatchicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable).And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance ofvegetable products.

Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?

A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, thatmeans they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of thegoodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain. Bottoms up!

Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?

A: Well, if you have a body and you have fat, your ratio is one to one. Ifyou have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.

Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?

A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good!Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!... Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil.In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?

Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?

A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You shouldonly be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.

Q: Is chocolate bad for me?

A: Are you crazy? HELLO Cocoa beans! Another ve! getable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!

Q: Is swimming good for your figure?

A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.

Q: Is getting in-shape important for my lifestyle?

A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets.And remember: "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arrivingsafely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid insideways - Chardonnay in one hand - chocolate in the other - body thoroughlyused up, totally worn out and screaming "WOO HOO, What a Ride!"

O.k. enough for today

2006-01-31T15:24:00.000-05:00

Tag, I'm It! I was tagged by Kween

Here are the top four answers on the board Survey Says...

Four Jobs I've Had
1) T.Rowe Price
2) Piper and Marbury
3) MCI
4) Resident Advisor

Four Movies
1) Life
2) Goonies
3) Coming to America
4)

Four Places I Have Lived
only in Baltimore
but
1) The Village
2) Park Heights
3) Woodlawn
4) Randallstown

Four TV Shows I Love

1) CSI Miami
2) CSI
3) Criminal Minds
4) Espn

Places I've Been on Vacation
1) California
2) Las Vegas
3) Florida
4) Tennesee

Four Favorite Foods
1) Steak
2) French Fries
3) Seafood
4) Chicken

Four Places I'd Rather Be Right Now
1)At home
2) In my bed
3) at the Gym
4) In Italy..(ttd)

Four Web Sites
1) My blog
2) TTD Blog
3) Hotmail
4) Daily Confessions.com

Four Bloggers Who Are Now IT!
1) Tarisa
2) Reggie
3) Courtney
4)Sabrinutz

Songs of Life

2006-01-31T13:28:00.000-05:00

A favorite political track.
"We are the World"

One of those tracks that make you dance on the dancefloor no matter what.
B'more Club, "You don't, know but you can't keep this sh*t from me, you dumb bi&th I heard your story...You played me, you even gave him he*d, now your asking for me back"

The song you'd use to tell someone you love them.
"All I need is u in my life" Brian McKnight

A song that has made you sit down and analyze it's lyrics.
"Jesus is gonna work it out"

A song that you like, that a two year old would like as well.
"fresh as I'm is" bow wow

A song that gives you an energy boost.
"la la la remix" Jay-Z

A song that you and your grandparents (would probably) like.
"Cause I love you" Lenny Williams

A song that you really liked when you were 14-16, and still really like now.
"C.R.E.A.M" Wu-Tang

A sad song that would be in the soundtrack of the movie about your life.
"Cats and the Craddle"(if you don't know google the lyrics)

A peppy song that would start the opening credits of the movie about your life.
"Teen spirit" Nirvana

A good song from a genre of music that no one would guess that you liked.
Charlie Parker, "A studio Chronicle"

A song that you think should have been playing when you were born.
"against all odds" 2 pac

A favorite artist duo collaboration.
Mary J. Blidge and Jay-z
"Don't Knock the Hustle"

A favorite song that you completely disagree with (politically, morally,commonsenically, religiously etc.)
n/a

The song that you like despite the fact your IQ level drops several pointsevery time you listen to it.
The song w/ Pharrell and Gwen Stafani

Your smooth song, for relaxing.
"Many Men" 50 Cent

A song you would send to someone you hate or are mad at.
Ludacris, "F*$K you"

A favorite track from an outfit considered a super-group.
"We are the champions" Dame Dash Presents Dream team

A song that makes you reminsce about good times with a family member.
"Summer Time" Will Smith

2006-01-31T09:51:00.000-05:00

Your Blogging Type Is Thoughtful and Considerate

You're a well liked, though underrated, blogger.You have a heart of gold, and are likely to blog for a cause.You're a peaceful blogger - no drama for you!A good listener and friend, you tend to leave thoughtful comments for others.

What's" Your Blogging Personality?

Dumb things people do...

2006-01-27T08:50:00.000-05:00

I'm sorry but i read this and had to post it....if your gonna do illegal things, please be a little more discreet...
Alleged Crack Dealer Used Business Cards
AP
LEAVENWORTH, Kan. (Jan. 26) - The business cards got a response, but surely not what their owner had in mind when he had them printed up.
They came to the attention of Leavenworth police, who used them to make a drug arrest last week.
Sylvester J. Williams, 21, of Leavenworth, was charged Monday with possessing crack cocaine with the intent to sell it, Maj. Patrick Kitchens of the Leavenworth Police Department said.
Kitchens said Williams remained in custody Wednesday on $75,000 bond.
He said police had heard for some time that Williams had been selling drugs in the area. "Then we heard that he was handing out business cards," the officer said. "In the course of our investigation we were fortunate to come up with one, and we gave him a call."
Kitchens said the business card had an image of what appeared to be an alarm clock being hit by a boxing glove and said: "For a quick hit on time call the boss."
"When he answered, we agreed to buy some crack from him, we went up there, and we arrested him," Kitchens said.
The arrest was made Friday.
"It makes our job considerably easier when they advertise and let us know where to get ahold of them," Kitchens said.

I'm not sure if this would fall under dumbest criminals, but its damn near at the top

Naive in Romance.....

2006-01-26T16:13:00.000-05:00

I was told today that I am naive? I thought that was funny, but then I started to think. I had to review all the decisions that I have made. Review all of the people that I've called friend. Am I too naïve? Ask yourself? Am I naive and if so what have I been navie about? First before you answer the question, lets understand what it mean to be naive? Being naive means, lacking worldly experience and understanding. What things have you been naive about? Do you see the good in everyone? Do you give people the benefit of the doubt? Has that ever gotten you in trouble? If so, you may be a little naïve. I know I have....sorry i have a brainfreeze right now, too many thoughts on the mind...but you get where the thoughts are going.
It's hard not really knowing if your being naive or following your heart. Some people say that if your kind to everyone, b/c you assume everyone is out to be your friend then your naive. As the saying goes, "people take kindness for weaknes" That's one of the things that I feel as though I deal w/ on a regular basis. Is it wrong to want to do good or to assume that you would only surround those people around you whom would have your best interest at heart.
Like in my case, I have a friend whom has taken a liking to a young woman at work. He believes that romance is dead and that I'm a fool for believing that in order to get the woman you should do something romatic. Every woman wants to be romanced once and a while. But he claims I I am naive b/c some of the things I believe.I had to explain to him that I'm not naive, romance isn't dead. Who Says Romance Is Dead? ROMANCE...is about the possibility of the thing. From the time when you first meet some fine ass woman...(got one of those) To the time you make love to her. From the time you first propose to her. To the time you say i do. "When people who have been together for a long time say that the romance is dead....nuh uh......they just EXHAUSTED THE POSSIBILITIES"See I had to explain to him that, what has happened is that our society has gotten accustomed to instant gratification, which in fact has taken away from what the old folks use to call, "courtship"I understand women can intimidate us (men) with their unrealistic romance demands. But just because many women have seen too many love stories where the hero says all the right words at the right moment and the heroine swoons doesn't mean romance is unachievable. It doesn't take a well-written screenplay to make this woman swoon. (i feel butterflies....lol..kween)All a good man needs to do is pay attention and conduct a little behind-the-scenes research to figure out what romance means to his girl. (a good man fella's)So take the time and find something she is interested in. Take the time to learn about her study her like we study those Espn and PS2 games. Do that and you will learn what it takes to romance the woman you want. If you can get her attention, make her laugh, get her to realize you want to know her, that is when the other things will fall into place....Am I naive, you could say that.....but i'm not lonely so how naive am I.

To everyone who is searching.....

2006-01-25T10:46:00.000-05:00

STOP IT!!

Long ago, I made up my mind that when things were said involving only me, I would pay no attention to them, except when valid criticism was carried by which I could profit.” My homie Courtney has done a lot of good things in 05 and i'm sure his success will follow him in 06. To assist him I've decided that I will give him my point of view and express on how I feel about searching for relationships. I'm going to discuss something that many mature adults fail to discuss or realize.
Lets talk about this thing called love. Its the only pure thing in the world....not hate, not joy, not sorrow, not even friendship....Love is the only thing that endureth forever and the one thing that everyone searches for....
How many of you actually say that they have been in love. Now, honestly think and realize what I talking about here. I don't mean who u had puppy love for or who you had a crush on but who u were in love w/. I'm not talking about the clubs you go too looking for the good looking woman or man. I'm not talking about the love you search for when you go to lounges, poetry readings,, church functions or concerts. And don't say you don't do it. All of us are guilty of looking for that.
But remember the saying or the song,"Looking for love in all the wrong places."

I wrote this poem a while ago.. but it fits the topic of discussion so I'll use it again..

Love is an emotion a feeling that cannot be described or controlled. Love makes you do things that are out of the ordinary.
Love is that feeling in ur stomach on the late night as u lye in the bed waiting for that phone call.....
Love is hearing the sound of their voice knowing that by hearing just the sound could calm all around u...
Love is turning a deaf ear to friends and family who don't agree, but b/c the opportunity for love is far and few between you accept the consequences....
Love is sending money for someone to come home.....but u never see them...
.Love is knowing that in a crowded room full people the only person that's on ur mind is not there.....Love is sacrificing what u have in order to give them what they need.....
Love is thinking before speaking......
Love is traveling to and fro, to see someone just to see the smile on their face b/c of ur presence....
Love is cooking candle light dinners for that special someone.....although they never show
Love is hearing a song and remembering the emotion and the feeling that a person gave to you....
Love is not knowing what tomorrow brings but excepting today for what it is and dealing w/ it...
Love is wishing the best for that person although they may no longer be apart of ur life......
Love is sacrificing all that u have and doing what ever it takes to make someone else happy b/c u don't want them to feel on ounce of pain..
Love is ultimately letting go of what is the considered normal and allowing abnormal things to take place......

As I stated before, I was guilty of looking for love....Yes, i too looked for love in all the wrong places. But as you get older and wiser you begin to realize that finding love means understanding that Love is having blind faith. It took me forever to allow love to find me but it finally has. Not at all but Love found me and has given me this beautiful woman whom one day i will call my wife and companion.
Just knowing that Love will happen and its not something you have to search for....Love is like a drug....Once you get a little taste you want to continuosly have that emotion, have that feeling....You don't find love...love ultimately will find you

All hip hop.com....Jigga Man and Cam'ron

2006-01-24T16:11:00.000-05:00

Chancletas Rules." Chancletas are the 99 cent grandpa slippers that are especially popular among Latinos. Still, Chancletas are about as New York summer time as it gets. Nothing says New York in the summer time more than chilling outside with Chancletas and socks. The problem is Chancletas should NEVER be worn with long jeans or without socks (although there are a few exceptions to the last one). Now I know Jay wasn't wearing real Chancletas, they were probably some $500 slippers. Cam's accusation of wearing Chancletas wit jeans was hilarious though. But I repeat, there is nothing wrong with rocking Chancletas. You just can't rock 'em with long jeans. You'll look ridiculous and u won't even be able to walk. And throw some damn socks on. I ain't tryna see no dude's crumpled up toes or even worse, a pedicure!" EVERYBODY’S A SWAGGER JACKER! Speaking of Cam, this Jay-Z thing has heated up tremendously. You know how Cam had his version of "swagger jacker," citing were Hova borrowed rhymes. Well, somebody went and did a Cam’ron version. Wanna hear it, click here. I admit it’s not as potent as the Jay-Z, but everybody needs to admit that everybody borrows these days. XXL has a whole section devoted to it and illseed has a few swagger jackers out there too! Cam’ron has a press conference slated to re-articulate why he has beef with Jay-Z. He’s also going to run over some other things related to movies and music. Now, with Nas on the Def Jam team, how will that play out in this world of rap beef?

BUT FINALLY IT'S HERE

FEB. 15, 2006 JAY-Z WILL ADDRESS THE HIP HOP NATION

Long morning

2006-01-24T08:23:00.000-05:00

Hello fellow bloggers, today has been along day and its only 8:30; i want to give my home girl Ty a shout out b/c if it were not for her inspiring email i wouldn't be writing this today.....this blog today is one that i've had to get off my chest since yesterday. And if u have something or feeling that you have to get something off your chest and you felt that way for a while, say OKAY!
Do u work with people who continually think that they have to be right all of the time? They scrutinize every little email, note, or word that u may say out of ur mouth..If u are having a phone conversation their listening so they can tell u, that u either didn't use proper english or what you coulda or shoulda done.
This person is so anal he corrects the grammer for internal emails.Who in the fcuk died and designated you as the gate keeper of emails. (I hate it when people do dumb shit like that. "what does cuz mean?")
As I began to think of all the things I could say, it dawned on me, we started working here the same day, same time, same shift and I make more than you. (I know I shouldn't say that but it felt so good)
Have u ever been so heated or frustrated that u wanted to turn around a smack all the ish out of a co-worker. I wanna hit him so hard, i start smiling just thinking about it. But that wouldn't be professional would it. My fellow colleauges would look down on me and frown upon my actions huh? You would read my blog and say he must be a angry and a violent person. I guess I should just surpress my feelings and continue to do my work and dance and schuffle my feet like the good person my mama raised me to be.
Its just too bad I couldn't give a rats a** as to what these people in here think, cause i don't like my job any way. O.K. its not that I don't like my job I don't like what it is I do for the 8hrs I'm here. But the company benefits are great....LOL....
So for those of u who read this and know where I work, know that i will be having a rent party soon b/c I'm gonna lose my job for this one. That's right I'm leaving, why you ask? Am I quitting my job...Noooo hell nooo, but after this last sentence I going to turn around and Bang the ish out of this guy. So they will fire me and I will have to take unemployment....but hey the look on his face will be worth it...... Blog you later

81 is Ridiculous

2006-01-23T08:03:00.000-05:00

Only Kobe Bryant would try to singlehandedly upstage the NFL on Championship Sunday.
And get it done.
THE COMPLETE KOBE
How does one describe Kobe's 81 points?
It's the greatest scoring night any of us have ever seen, except for the few among us who were in the arena in Hershey, Pennsylvania, on March 2, 1962. In other words, it's the best performance in NBA history, except for Wilt's 100.
It was 1.7 points per minute, or, in this case, 1.9 points per minute, since Kobe actually sat six minutes against the Toronto Raptors on Sunday, in the Lakers' 122-104, come-from-behind win in L.A.
It was 66 shots -- 46 field goal attempts and 20 free throw attempts. Of those FGAs, 28 found the net (60.9 percent), including seven of his 13 3-pointers. Eighteen of 20 free throws followed suit. (Yes, Kobe's free throw streak ended -- at 62.)
It's this -- 2 2 2 2 2 1 1 1 1 3 2 2 1 2 2 2 2 2 3 3 3 2 1 3 2 2 2 1 1 2 2 2 1 1 1 3 3 2 2 1 1 1 1 1 1 1.
It's enough to make you wish he'd have had a faster start, instead of "only" 26 in the first half ... to be followed by 27 in the third quarter ... and 28 in the fourth ... picking up speed with all the inevitability of gravity itself, a runaway train, a basketball bouncing down a steep driveway.

Three minutes into the second half, the Raptors led 71-53. Bryant already had all four of the Lakers' second half points, giving him 30 for the game, but then he cranked it up --
Over the next 80 seconds, he made a basket and two 3s, cutting the 18-point lead to 12. The Lakers and Kobe kept coming, and, late in the third quarter, when he stole a pass and tiptoed down the sidelines to get loose for a dunk and make it 87-85, he put Los Angeles up for good.
Speaking of getting Los Angeles up, Kobe turned on the Showtime crowd for one of the greatest spontaneous celebrations ever for a single player.
For his audience, this was not about beating the Raptors but rather the pinch-me thrill of being in the arena during the greatest individual performance of the past four decades.
It was M-V-P!! M-V-P!!

But it was more than that -- it was the growing sound of 18,997 paying customers every time Kobe got the ball, and a expectant whoosh every time he went up to shoot, and a noisy, giddy sigh every time he missed, and a roar every time he made the basket or was fouled. It was the sound of a crowd at the circus, watching the trapeze artists at work, watching the greatest show on earth.

And while it's easy to forget when Kobe goes off, especially when the opposing team wears RAPTORS on its chest, this was an NBA team he was doing this to -- a team that was leading the game handily before he really got going.
That team, with talented players like Chris Bosh, Jalen Rose and Mike James on the floor, was clearly rattled, or worse. When everyone realized what Kobe was up to, both teams responded emotionally. The Lakers got a charge from Kobe's energy, while the Raptors were both distracted and overwhelmed. After a 63-point first half, they managed only 41 points in the second half, including only three baskets during a decisive nine-minute stretch.

Jackson did the right thing this time, because Kobe ultimately wasn't playing against the Raptors. He was playing against all the guys who never scored 80, or even 70 -- Michael Jordan, Larry Bird, Dominique Wilkins, Allen Iverson, Tracy McGrady, Vince Carter, Shaquille O'Neal, Jerry West, Karl Malone, Bob McAdoo, Oscar Robertson, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar, Pete Maravich, George Gervin, Bernard King, and on and on.
And he was competing against the Lakers' record holder, Elgin Baylor, who had 71; David Robinson, also 71; David Thompson, 73; and Wilt, 72, 73, 73, 78 and 100.
And he beat them all.
Except for Wilt. On one night.
Too bad the Lakers don't play on Super Sunday. I'd love to see Kobe go for Wilt's record, too.

Helping my sister out

2006-01-20T14:03:00.000-05:00

Helping my sister out
I just recently finished speaking w/ my sister (for about 20min.), its not often that we talk but when we do its usually about something that has happened to her. She had a friend she was dealing w/ for sometime and mind you she was always on again off again w/ him, engaged not engaged, working it out or not talking anymore. Sometimes they were at the top of the world and other times it just seemed like it wouldn't work. She called to tell me that she finally had ended all ties w/ the guy and that she wanted to work on moving on. (for real this time)Now my sister is one of the few people who knows that in my past relationship, that I was done and out and had lost my mojo (Austin Powers that is). But I recovered which took sometime but now that i look back I know what things I should have done that would have assisted me in recovery.I mean everyone knows, it is always difficult moving on after a long term relationship ends. There is a great deal of pain and emotion left, stuck right inside your gut, and memories that just don't seem to fade. Every time you try to move on something seems to remind you of your ex, and at times it feels like you can never quite get over it. The ghosts of a former relationship can haunt you, but there are definite ways to move forward and into a new relationship.On thing that I did that I know effected me getting over my ex was that I became a hermet. I didn't want to go anywhere or do anything. Just leave me alone and let me be. It's just no fun anymore. That was my attitude, but I should have stayed active socially, b/c although I was devestated, there is nothing better than having a since of belonging. (that's why their friends)Go out with friends as much as possible, go out to a movie by yourself. Anything that can get you away from your thoughts of your ex, even if it is just temporary relief. Over time, these activities and distractions will give you the distance you need.Something else that you can do is try to not listen to the radio. Think about Neo's "So Sick" or Kiesha Cole's Cd (you'll be be a bitter ex),stay away from pop music. Sounds silly, but most songs are about failed love or some existing passion and while at times they can make you feel less alone, most songs will just get you thinking about your past. For the time being switch cd's, sarius radio, even sports talk....go to heaven 600 "Jesus will work it out".Also give it some time. Unfortunately, it does often take some time to move on. You will have your ups and downs, but you will be able to move on eventually. You need to force yourself not to dwell on the past. Now I know for a lot of females this is easier said than done, but every minute you spend dwelling on the past is actually wasted.It is ok to feel blue and think about the past for a bit, but you need to limit this by forcing yourself to stop. Get out and do something, anything.Lastly, when your all alone and have no one too turn to get in touch with your emotions. My sisters the type who doesn't want to cry over things, but often times we harbor feelings and emotions that make us feel sick or feel as though there isn't any hope. Even if its one time let it all out and in doing so you will bringing back some positive memories and most important, being able to learn from those experiences. You can only move forward, not back.So go out do something anything but don't forget "You dont miss him, You miss who You thought he was"