Helping my sister out

Helping my sister out
I just recently finished speaking w/ my sister (for about 20min.), its not often that we talk but when we do its usually about something that has happened to her. She had a friend she was dealing w/ for sometime and mind you she was always on again off again w/ him, engaged not engaged, working it out or not talking anymore. Sometimes they were at the top of the world and other times it just seemed like it wouldn't work. She called to tell me that she finally had ended all ties w/ the guy and that she wanted to work on moving on. (for real this time)Now my sister is one of the few people who knows that in my past relationship, that I was done and out and had lost my mojo (Austin Powers that is). But I recovered which took sometime but now that i look back I know what things I should have done that would have assisted me in recovery.I mean everyone knows, it is always difficult moving on after a long term relationship ends. There is a great deal of pain and emotion left, stuck right inside your gut, and memories that just don't seem to fade. Every time you try to move on something seems to remind you of your ex, and at times it feels like you can never quite get over it. The ghosts of a former relationship can haunt you, but there are definite ways to move forward and into a new relationship.On thing that I did that I know effected me getting over my ex was that I became a hermet. I didn't want to go anywhere or do anything. Just leave me alone and let me be. It's just no fun anymore. That was my attitude, but I should have stayed active socially, b/c although I was devestated, there is nothing better than having a since of belonging. (that's why their friends)Go out with friends as much as possible, go out to a movie by yourself. Anything that can get you away from your thoughts of your ex, even if it is just temporary relief. Over time, these activities and distractions will give you the distance you need.Something else that you can do is try to not listen to the radio. Think about Neo's "So Sick" or Kiesha Cole's Cd (you'll be be a bitter ex),stay away from pop music. Sounds silly, but most songs are about failed love or some existing passion and while at times they can make you feel less alone, most songs will just get you thinking about your past. For the time being switch cd's, sarius radio, even sports talk....go to heaven 600 "Jesus will work it out".Also give it some time. Unfortunately, it does often take some time to move on. You will have your ups and downs, but you will be able to move on eventually. You need to force yourself not to dwell on the past. Now I know for a lot of females this is easier said than done, but every minute you spend dwelling on the past is actually wasted.It is ok to feel blue and think about the past for a bit, but you need to limit this by forcing yourself to stop. Get out and do something, anything.Lastly, when your all alone and have no one too turn to get in touch with your emotions. My sisters the type who doesn't want to cry over things, but often times we harbor feelings and emotions that make us feel sick or feel as though there isn't any hope. Even if its one time let it all out and in doing so you will bringing back some positive memories and most important, being able to learn from those experiences. You can only move forward, not back.So go out do something anything but don't forget "You dont miss him, You miss who You thought he was"